Welcome to another exciting edition of Dungeons and Dragons theater!  I’ve been feeling very nostalgic for my old gaming group, and wishing we could all get together for a Saturday afternoon gaming session (really, it’s the 21st century.  Where are our transporters?!?).  This nostalgia seems to be focused on a strange desire to play through Tomb of Horrors.  This is problematic in a couple ways:

  • First, no sane person wants to play through the Tomb of Horrors.  This thing exists for no other reason than to allow the DM to savor the look on each and every players face as their beloved characters, the ones they’d raised from a single d4 or d6, die a horrible and fairly instant death with no backsies.
  • Second, I’ve already played through the module once, and it is fairly fully engraved in my brain… well, at least the bits we managed to make it through.  I’ve already learned the Golden Rule of the Tomb, and I fear that would take some of the edge off of the game.  For those that don’t know the Golden Rule, it goes something like this.  ‘Do not touch anything!  NO NOT ANYTHING!  The treasure probably isn’t real, so don’t waste your time (or your life).  Just get through to the lich as quickly and as healthily as possible.  In fact, if you are anywhere near the door, just turn around right now… it really isn’t worth it.  Really!  I hear there’s dragons in them thar hills, why not just strip off all of your armor, give your weapons to the poor, blind yourself and go fight them.  I assure you it will be easier!  What?  You still want to go on?!?  Are your affairs back home in order?  Okay, but seriously, DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!!!!’

Back when I first played the module, we’d all be playing for a while, and I was beginning to feel that Kev was getting tired of always being the DM.  That had to be it because he really is a nice guy otherwise, but he took to us with a gusto that is normally reserved for the Thanksgiving dinner table!  I suspect this was not uncommon as I can not imagine a situation where any DM would foist this on their players unless they were out for blood!

…and yet I still want to play…

…what’s wrong with me?!?!