Welcome to day two of simul-casting with Saggy Man Breasts.
I am generally very good about reading labels. How many calories are their? Fat grams? Whatever… As I am starting this diet by restricting calories (to the quite generous 2000 as recommended by my nutritionist Glenda the Stinky Witch of the East Wind), it’s important to know what is in each food item I consume. I pay careful attention to portion size because they don’t always sync up quite right with expectations. Heck, I have a jar of pickles in the fridge that lists the serving size as 1/2 pickle!
But a pot pie?!? Really, a pot pie?!? That one I did not catch until I was just about to dive in to the chicken- and broccoli-filled deliciousness. Check out the label:
Wait... 1+1 doesn't equal 2?!?
I was shocked! I shouldn’t be, but I was. What is really interesting though, is the line above the nutrition label. Serving size may be 540 calories for half of a pie, but if you eat the entire thing then that is 1,120 calories. I’m actually quite good at math, and I’m pretty sure that 540 + 540 does not equal 1,120. I’m calling ‘Shennanigans’ here, folks!
As it was, eating the entire thing was too many calories, so I dutifully sliced the thing in half and through the other half out. I now have some tupperware at work so that when I am hit with such surprises in the future, I can at least keep from throwing good food in the trash.
Full, uncut pie = 1120 calories. Pie cut in half = (540/half x 2) + amount lost during cut.
This is a principle every carpenter knows. If you have an 8 foot 2×4 and you need two pieces that are exactly 48 inches, you can’t just cut the 8 foot 2×4 in half.
So all you need to do to recover the missing calories is lick the knife used to cut the pie. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it (as is the pie manufacturer)…
I don’t really need to recover those calories, of course…