I have to wonder how many divorces have occurred because one spouse or the other is a chronic snorer?

Listen, I need you guys to do me a favor. After twenty years of marriage, Laurie has decided that she can’t sleep through my nightly snore symphony. So… if I should disappear sometime without word, could you send someone over to collect the body?

I can’t really blame her though. You know that stereotype about ‘Mouth-breathin’ Midwesterners’? Well, any IQ-snarkiness aside, that’s me. My nose has always been breathing-optional, so I get most of my oxygen orally. Sadly this means that I can’t wear any mouth guards to reduce the tendency to snore. Couple this with a slight velopharyngeal insufficiency, and it’s amazing she hasn’t killed me in my sleep yet. That’s the power of love, baby!